Saturday, August 5, 2017

IN WHICH I TURN 70 AND REALIZE 
I AM A BIONIC WOMAN!

It's true! I had my 70th !!!!! birthday ( must be some mistake-somebody counted wrong) and realize I am part technology and part human.  I have several bionic parts: eye lens implants, new teeth, 2 titanium knees, and  2 tiny implements to enhance my hearing.  I am proud of my status as part human, part android-makes me feel very modern.


Hygge shawl I have been working on while relegated to my recliner
based on Scheepjes Cal 2017



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I have not posted in over three months: we have had the most terrible time that a family can have.  My younger daughter Ann died May 9 in Aberdeen, Scotland where she was a PhD student.  Ann died of complications of juvenile type 1 diabetes.  She was 33 and beloved of her family.

In case you don't know, there are two types of diabetes-type I and type II.  Type II is the one most everyone is familiar with-the usual adult onset diabetes which can be somewhat controlled by proper diet, weight, and exercise.  Type I, or juvenile diabetes, strikes children or young people and is an auto immune disease.  Generally, the child becomes ill with a serious virus (as Ann did) and the immune system attacks the pancreas, which is the source of insulin in the body, and destroys it.  The child will the spend the rest of their lives testing the level of their blood sugars 6-8 times a day and injecting insulin several times a day. The body needs insulin in its system to survive and the person with type I diabetes can only receive insulin with injections. There are no vacations from this.

Ann was 8 when she became diabetic.  I always worried about her as she was so petite-she weighed 40 pounds as an 8 year old and seem thin and delicate. Well, she was not delicate and with her scientific and mathematical mind managed her diabetes very well.  She was diagnosed 25 years ago and, at that time, the endocrinologists all prescribed a regime of "tight control" which meant keeping your blood sugar levels comparable to a non diabetic. This involved frequent testing and lots of insulin.  Their method for teaching "tight control" included vivid descriptions of blindness, loss of limbs, kidney disease etc if blood sugars levels where not kept within certain limits.

The scenarios of possible devastating outcomes which would strike a type I diabetic always caused Ann much anxiety.  Consequently, she was always very much "in control" to the point where she sometimes took too much insulin-which happens to all type I diabetics.  Too much insulin causes a person to loss consciousness, and, if not revived with some sugar, to die.

This moment is the saddest of my life.  I will never be whole again but after 3 months, I am no longer lost and adrift at sea.  Some wind has begun blowing in my sails and my hand is once again on the rudder.  To further the devastation of Ann's death, I became infected with Rocky Mountain Spotted Fever a few days before.  I was quickly put on doxycycline which killed the bacteria but was forced to spend 4 weeks in my recliner with extreme fatigue.

To have some occupation, I decided to join the Scheepjes cal (crochet along) 2017.  I have a blogger friend in France who is making this shawl which I long admired.  I am not much of a crocheter but I loved the surface decoration of this garment.



All I wanted was a simple project where I just simply followed the directions, make a copy,  and not think about how it could changed for better or worse.  That did not last long-I noticed right away that the bright red criss cross sectioning between the design areas was not sympatico. 

Life always asserts itself in the midst of saddness.  Life in this case being the strong dislike of the color red used in this project.  I began to rethink the entire design.  I spent hours on pinterest (my favorite) looking for ideas especially the pinterest page of Jose Koster who has many images of what others have made using the Hygge as a begin point and lots of ideas.

 https://www.pinterest.com/joko66/hygge-cal/

The image at the top of this post is my version of  the center block.  Next week I will show you some more.

I have been taking walks with my husband 3 times a week-we have the loveliest place to walk.  It is an abandoned highway going to Truman Lake and is filled with flowers, trees, and fauna.  Here is the walkway:



That's all for now.  I am glad to be recovering somewhat and back to the work/play I live for.
I am linking up with:
Slow Stitching Sunday, Bambi's Blog, Making Monday,  Em's Scrapbag, Esther's Wow, 
Let's Bee Social,Whoop Whoop, and Off the Wall Friday, and Finish or Not!




Ann's Obituary

With great sadness I announce the death of Ann Marbourg  May 9, 2017 of complications following her 25 year battle with Type 1 diabetes. Ann died in Aberdeen, Scotland where she was studying for a Ph.D. specializing in developing programs to assist people in underdeveloped and disadvantaged parts of the world.

Ann was a lifelong student. At five, she knew the names of all of the dinosaurs then known, their taxonomy and ecology. At seven, she studied Greek mythology and knew the stories and actions of the gods. At ten, she was carrying around a book of Shakespeare's plays and laughing at all of Puck’s adventures. In the pre electronic age, she was always up and to the encyclopedia to check on a fact to get it right. Later in the smartphone era she prided herself on finding and checking facts quicker on the draw than any gunslinger.

At 16, Ann was enrolled in a large Midwestern University for her two final years of high school making straight A's. Her course work included physics, chemistry, biology and English, but she excelled in mathematics completing all three of the foundation courses in the infinitesimal calculus followed by courses in differential equations. It was quite a jolt to see a petite young girl with flowing red hair writing out long equations of 2 and 3 lines across the page like a person doing a quick shopping list.

In Ann’s senior high school year she took the SAT test and achieved a near perfect score missing only one question. She had not studied, nor received tutoring, nor did any special preparation for the SAT. She simply showed up, took a pencil, and went through the questions.

Other activities in high school included being the student director of several plays, a docent at the Wornall House civil war museum, a student assistant at a local museum where she computerized their data, and participation in several archaeological digs, among others.

Ann was a recipient of a National Merit Scholarship. Due to her many activities and achievements, Ann was invited to attend many universities throughout the U.S. including the University of Chicago, the California Institute of Technology, Cornell, and Rice University as well as others. She received a full scholarship to Caltech being one of very few women admitted there at that time. She later transferred to Cornell in New York finding the rigid science at Caltech too constricting.

Ann had a wonderful sense of humor laughing heartily at various comedic groups including the Capitol Steps, Prairie Home Companion, and Shakespeare comedies. But most of all Ann was wonderfully kind, retiring, never one to aggrandize herself. Her favorite novel was Crime and Punishment by Dostoevsky because she loved the angelic Sonja who waited 20 years for R to be released from prison. She loved simple quiet, modest figures, but always championed women as equal in every way to the males of the world.

Ann loved to go to new places. She was an exchange student to France for her high school sophomore semester and became fluent in that language. Later, at 22 she traveled further to China to teach English there, learn Chinese, and to see for herself the nature and substance of that country. But Ann loved cold and snowy climes most. She lived and worked in Alaska as a researcher for several years. She was teaching herself Norwegian in the hopes of residing in Scandinavia. Her last address was in rainy cool Aberdeen Scotland which she found to be particularly enjoyable and compatible.

She is survived by her sister Mary, who has been residing in Northern India for several years, and by her mother and father who live in Missouri, U.S.A. We will always miss her.




34 comments:

  1. Pam I feel your pain. My oldest son committed suicide almost three years ago. My heart still aches from the loss. I am hypo glycemic and maintain my sugar levels by diet and exercise. Do not want to get to diabetes II as my dad had it. Sending you heartfelt hugs. Life does go on ....

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  2. I am sorry to hear about your daughter. Years ago I worked at a summer camp for chilidren with type I diabetes and it was such a learning experience. I hope your stitching, crocheting, and walking help you deal with the grief. I can't imagine what you are going through.

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  3. I am so sorry for your loss. Your daughter Ann sounds like a very special person--someone who is needed in the global community.

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    1. Ann is a very special person. I use the present tense as opposed to the past tense as Ann will always be alive to me. Her kindness, common sense, and critical thinking will be a loss to the global community. Thank you for your kind words and expression of sympathy.

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  4. I am so sorry for the loss of your daughter. She sounds like a remarkable person, I hope your memories bring you some comfort though nothing can fill the whole in your heart.

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  5. Oh Pam, I am so sorry for you. I am also sorry that I had not written to ask where you were as I have missed your posts and hoped that you would soon return. Ann sounds a wonderful person - a great loss to the world as well as to you and your family. Ah, so you have been doing the Hygge! - I loved that dark version but thought I might find it tiring for my eyes as I would be mostly working on it in the evenings. I look forward to seeing more of how you have altered the colourway. xx

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  6. Oh and Happy 70th! Congratulations. xx

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  7. I am so, so sorry about your daughter. She sounds like an amazing young lady. Your memories will keep her in your heart always.

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  8. What a remarkable young lady, how proud you must be. I can't imagine the conflicting emotions you and your's must be going through. Prayers coming your way.

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  9. I am so very, very sorry to read this. Ann sounds such a lovely, amazing daughter. My heart aches for you and your family. Our daughter passed away from Juvenile Type 1 diabetes when she was 24 years old. It's such a terrible, horrible disease.

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  10. Pam, I wish there were magic words to make everything all better. As a mom, all I can do is attempt to imagine what it must feel like and I'm sure I'm not even coming close. I hope that time, will do it's job of at least lessening the pain. I hope you will continue to find joy in the creative arts for which you have amazing talent!

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  11. So sorry to hear of the loss of your daughter. She sounds like a truly amazing young woman. I can't even imagine what I would do if I lost my daughter. Glad that you can find some diversion and wishing you continued strength as you deal with this.

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  12. I am so sorry you have to be separated from your daughter for a time. I am glad you were able to be her Mom and have wonderful experiences together as a family. Your shawl is amazing!

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  13. My deepest condolences on the loss of your daughter. May she continue to serve as an inspiration to others as we learn the story of her amazing heart and mind.

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  14. Such sad news. Please accept my condolences for the loss of your daughter.

    Your shawl is amazing. And congratulations on reaching your own milestone. This post is such a mixture of life's ups and downs.

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  15. I can not imagine the pain you have in your heart. I am very sorry for you.

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  16. Oh, Pam, I am so sorry for your loss. I was thinking about you a week or so ago and realized that you hadn't posted for a while. I hoped it was busyness and never thought it might be the death of a loved one. The grief at the death of a beloved child can certainly equal no other in this life. Your Ann -- I can tell from the obituary -- was a delightful person. I don't know what your religious beliefs are but I have absolutely no doubt that you and Ann will see each other again when this life is over. Blessings to you.

    Your hygge shall is beautiful. It has so much detail and the colors are vibrant.

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  17. Pam !! Thank you for your inspiration and link to Show and Tell Monday !! Hug Bambi

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  18. Pam, I am so sorry about your daughter. I can't imagine the pain and sorrow you feel. Then you are ill on top of her death! The words I am sorry seem so inadequate but please know I offer you my sincere condolences. Gretchen

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  19. So very sorry for your loss. It is hard to imagine the pain of losing a child. My thoughts and prayers are with you. I am sure that your creativity will help you move from moment to moment and give you some peace.

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  20. Oh my. So much sorrow. What amazes me though is how much living Ann packed into her short life. My prayers go out to you and the rest of the family.
    Your shawl is gorgeous. I must admit I'm not a big crochet fan but wow! This shawl might change my mind. Enjoy some peace while you work on it.

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  21. I am so sorry to hear of your loss. It sounds like Ann was an amazing woman. The shawl looks beautiful. I'm glad you've found a project that you feel like you can work on. Sending you peaceful thoughts this week. Andrea

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  22. Deepest sympathy and prayer for you and your family.

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  23. This is such devastating news! I hope you can find comfort in your walks and handwork--sending hugs for you and your family.

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  24. Your beloved daughter achieved more in her life than most do in three times as long. My thoughts are with you.

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  25. Tears running down my cheeks...I am so very, very sorry for your loss. What an amazing young woman with so many accomplishments despite the hardship of this disease for most of her life.

    The shawl projext is beautiful and you have had so much to cope with between the illness and the loss of her.

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  26. I am sorry for your loss and your own illness. Keeping our hands busy does seem to help.

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  27. I can only imagine the depth of your pain in the loss of your very special daughter. My mother always said that a parent shouldn't outlive her child, the loss is too great, and I would have to agree with her.
    I will be turning 70 in a few months. My, where has the time gone? Happy birthday to you.
    Glad you are being able to exercise your creativity on the beautiful shawl as well as finding peace and tranquility on the walks with your hubby. Take care of yourself.

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  28. I can't imagine anything worse that losing a child. She certainly was an extraordinary person and what a shame that she was taken from this earth at such a young age. My sincere sympathies.

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  29. I am so very sorry for your loss. I can't begin to imagine how painful that must be. I'm glad your are starting to do things to keep busy. (HUGS)

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  30. My deepest sympathy, Pam. It is so sad to lose a part of one's heart. Gently hugs for all of you.

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  31. I am so sorry for the loss of your brilliant daughter. You summed up her life so vividly that I can see how special she was. My deepest regards.

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  32. You've been on my mind these last few months and I'm so sorry to read about your daughter passing. I hope the love you have for your sewing can help you through each coming day.

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  33. I cannot imagine your pain. I am a type II diabetic, and know the yo-yo blood sugar episodes very well. People don't understand how dangerous the lows are. My heart aches for you, and may you find solace in your beautiful memories of your beautiful, brilliant daughter.

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